Before we talk about my sinister idea about how I am going to get all YOUR minerals, I want to pass an idea by you... a great, non partisan idea that would make us a better America. No kidding! It's simple, too. Here it is..... We are all filled up with rules and regulations. We have achieved saturation. From now on, any new rule or regulation must be accompanied by the removal of an old one. Our politicians would have to spend at least half of their time getting rid of rules instead of dreaming up new ones while being serviced by lobbyists and pages.
OK, back to how I am gonna own it all....
You have to thank the Lord for our Supreme Court. Because of them, I have a plan to take away all non-producing or poorly producing minerals from all you whiners that talk about stupid things like "property rights", and "its mine", and "my granddaddy held on to the farm through the Great Depression and passed the farm and his minerals down over three generations now"... you know, the kind of yada yada that those of us Have Nots who weren't fortunate enough to have grandad have his frigging wagon break down over a major oil field in the most God forsaken land a cow or sheep ever saw are frankly sick of hearing.
I am sure you are all aware by now of the Supreme Court's ruling last June that allows huge flexibility for my new friends in local and state governments everywhere to excercise their God given right of Eminent Domain. The ruling is seen as a "strong affirmation" that state and local governments to "pave the way" for private economic development, even when a new project success is not guaranteed to succeed!
Instead of yielding this critical governmental power in the timid, feel good, namby pamby ways my new government friends used it in the past, such as for stoopid things like highways, parks, and, my least favorite, greenbelts... this power is affirmed to be used for REAL good... like taking away your property and giving it to me... a guy with a real plan for it... a plan that MIGHT even provide more tax revenues for the city, county, or state. Or it might not, because I don't really have to prove it. The important thing is, I Get What You Have So Screw You. The new American Way.
So here is my plan. If you don't lease me your minerals, I will petition to have my new friends take them from you via Eminent Domain and awarded to me because I will promise my buddies much higher tax revenues. If it is dry, oh well. It's mine now anyway!
See, the deal is, I will "create jobs" where you "do not". I am even thinking of extending it to Golf Course, like River Oaks and Memorial, which seem wide open for the good ol' Eminent Domain. I will just turn them into tasteful trailer parks and RV centers... I figure I could house 2-3 hundred a day, and pay a hell of a lot more in taxes because I'll lose the ag exemption.
So no more whining about "property rights" and "its my property" and other drivel. If you had any real rights, the Supreme Court would have said so! You see, it was just a simple misunderstanding that you actually "owned" your land or minerals. That's no REAL right, like having an abortion on demand, or having TVs and gymnasiums in prison, its just an old wives tale that should be happy to rid ourselves .
Take it from Washington D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams, also president of the National League of Cities, who praised the Supreme Court for upholding this important right of defenseless and poor governments... "one of the most powerful tools officials have to rejuvenate their neighborhoods"... or oilfields in my particular case, heh heh.
the brilliant legal minds that formulated this decison were certainly NOT the "radical fringe" we have been warned about lately from Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, and babavicious Hillary during the Alito hearings, but rather thoughtful, prudent jurists like John Paul Stevens (wasn't he a Justice when we were in grade school?), Anthony Kennedy (doing the Kennedy name proud), David Souter (who still lives with his mom, and who is fighting an Eminent Domain effort to condemn his home in Connecticut to turn it into an Inn and a memorial to the end of property rights in the US), Ruth Vader Ginsburg (the very measured jurist who came to the highest bench from the heady heights of running the staid, middle of the road ACLU, not like those fringe new judges Roberts and Alito, and, little known, Darth Vader's mom and incestual lover), and "Even" Stephen Breyer.
So, pretty soon I will wield the power of government to get what you have held undeveloped for me for all these years! Unless you get my stuff first. Damn, I hadn't thought of that!