Ol' Delbert and Rico were driving their wagon across the Texas Panhandle. See, Delbert didn't like horses much, but sure liked gettin' paid to haul freight over the west. Rico, on the other hand, was a regular horse whisperer.
Delbert was always adding freight to the wagon, because he got paid more the more he carried.
"Del, don't you think we ought to feed the horses a little bit more if we are gonna have them carry this much freight?", asked Rico.
"Nah. Scroom. Them horses are already overfed. Feed 'em more and they will jest crap some more and mess up the envire-ment even more", replied Del. "In fact, I think we should load up the empty space we got with rocks just to get 'em trained up some more... make 'em all better at carrying loads".
So Del hopped off the wagon at the next stop and started loading it up with rocks. "Rico, get your ass over here and help me load these rocks!"
"I don't know if this is a real good idea, Del".
"Dammit, this wagon is gonna get loaded with rocks even if I have to do it myself, so get over here and help me so we can get going".
Pretty soon, the wagon was loaded tall with rocks. So tall, that the wagon was riding and grinding against the axle. The horses were straining to pull the load, especially up the hills. Every once in a while, the horses would fall, and the wagon would drop backwards.
"I got me an idea, Rico. These wheels are about to bust, and going backwards isn't good. We should replace them with square wheels. They are more stable on flat ground. Not as likely to bust up and slide backwards." said Del.
"Well, yeah, Del. I can see your reasoning, but it sure seems like it will make it a lot harder for these horses to pull the wagon forward when we get going again." Rico sputtered.
"You know, Rico, I am tired of your horse loving attitude. These here animals are just beasts of burden. One dies, we replace it with another. Simple. We do things your way, these animals would be sitting around sipping marg'ritas on a beach somewheres, instead of hauling our freight. Quit arguing with me and lets get these square wheels on the wagon."
Pretty soon, the first horse pulled up lame trying to haul the hugely frictioned wagon.
"Dad gum it, thats some bad luck", mumbled Del. "That's a pretty good horse. We need to do whatever we can to make it part of the team again. I say we cut off its two bad leg and put it in the middle of the team so the rest of the team can support it and it can contribute with its two good legs." declared Del.
So they did it.
"You know, Rico, I like ducks better'n horses. They don't eat as much and they don't crap as much as these horses and they got some wings, so I think they would do a better job pulling the cart with the square wheels. We feed the horses less, and give the food we save to the ducks, we gonna move fast! We are gonna transition to an all- duck team".
"I think this is a real bad idea, Del. I think physics dictates that it will take a million ducks to replace a few horses, and how we gonna bridle them?"
"What you taking physics, Rico? You some sort a duck denier? You clearly hate the enviro-ment. That reminds me. I got these razor sharp bridles I want to put on the horse team. They slow up at all, it cuts the bejeezus outa their mouth! That'll teach them not to slow down none!"
Of course, soon all the horses die of their festering mouth wounds and of exhaustion. The ducks flew the coop and were drinking marg'ritas on a beach during their southward Winter journey, and Del and Rico were left with a busted down cart full of rocks near Hereford.
Del muttered "I always knew that horses were worthless!"