Open Choke

More Proof They Think You're A Moron...

Among the significant and mounting evidence that the United Nations and the flying monkeys that work for that august institution believe that we are complete and utter morons, comes this newsflash:

 http://www.gmanews.tv/story/177346/climate-change-pushes-poor-women-to-prostitution-dangerous-work

Clearly, mo' billions should now be spent towards researching this.  Especially the more esoteric aspects of this laughably unscientific train of thought beyond just storm displacement of the poor.  For instance, what about the important questions surrounding "changing" air pressure from our horribly "changing" climate on the human limbic system and potential driving mechanisms that could make women from ALL  political and social classes whores, red-headed men juvenile pederasts, and partially explain the curious phenomenon that is Lady Gaga?

Or maybe we should just throw a bucket of water on that increasingly useless and dangerous institution and melt it away.  "Melting, I'm melting!!!!"

New States...

Apparently Drillinginfo has just dded all the rest of the US's production and permit data, according to my geologist.  I haven't heard an announcement, but this is a pretty needed addition...

Strangulators

Our government sets up agencies to regulate businesses for all sorts of reasons.  To prevent fraud. To keep business practices fair and open.  To prevent waste.  Over the last 30 years, compliance with new and never-ending environmental compliance and/or reporting laws have taken a forefront for a lot of these agencies.

Who runs these agencies?  In some cases, like the Texas Railroad Commission, these are elected office. So the People decide. Of course, the People then decry how their elected officials are in thrall of the businesses they regulate.  Go figure.

 In other cases, these are appointed by the Governators.  So, who SHOULD run these agencies?

1.  People that really understand and are sympathetic to the businesses they are regulating?

2.  People that really understand and hate the businesses they are regulating?

3. People that really DON'T understand and are sympathetic to the businesses they are regulating?

4.  People that really DON'T understand and hate the businesses they are regulating?

5.  People who are fundamentalist religious zealots that are driven in their decisions by their religious memes?

6. In-heat spider monkeys with rabies?

That pretty well sums up all the available options. 

What you get:

Option 1 gives you business, tax base, and jobs growth and can be sustainable if the regulators are thoughtful to the balances towards competing memes they must keep.  If they are not sensitive to these, then it can cross over and result in legislative over-reaction in the slapdown.  In my mind, these make the best regulators.  Knowledgeable, never enemies of the industry in general, and good stewards of the balance.

Option 2 gives you progressivelt harsher business environment with loss of business, tax base, and jobs.  These folks should only be considered if society in general is trying to dismantle an industry altogether.

Option 3 the blehh option.  Not bad, not great.  Potential for damage because of their ignorance.

Option 4 is the suicide approach.  Mean dumbasses.  We all have known some.  Let's leave them in the two bit bar at closing time where they belong and outa government. 

Option 5 is the "what in the hell?" option.  Unfortunately, what used to be "fringe" environmentalist and today is a healthy minority of self-identified enviros fall under this rubric.  "Man is bad, so we should do Mother Natures work and banish Man from the Garden" is bad policy under any circumstance.  My lick-log is a demonstrated acceptance, maybe enthusiasm for rational use/ mixed use concepts.

Option 6 is better than 5.  At least you can reason with a rabid spider monkey in heat.

Just my thoughts on the ol'  "people symapthetic to business shouldn't regulate business" concept.  Ridiculous on its face.  That's like saying "no atomic scientists should be allowed to regulate nuclear reactors.  That is a job far better left to plaintiff attorneys that flunked freshman Physics.  Or rabid spider monkeys.  Your choice".

Deal or No Deal...

Since the world is going to end on December 21, 2012, I will make an offer to buy any beach front real estate you might have for 10% of current market value and will take posession effective December 22, 2012.  Hell, I might even go to 20%.

Scaring the Chilrun...

The New York Times (git a rope!) recently printed an editorial that was factually inaccurate.  No surprise there, since the words "factual" and "accurate" and "editorial" are usually antonyms in the Grey Lady's style sheet.  The title of the editorial was "The Halliburton Loophole".  Brilliant propoganda, really, using Halliburton and Loophole in the same headline.  Amazed they didn't use Enron and Sleazy and Special Interests as well.

The paper of record stated that the FRAC bill currently before congress would "restore" oversight of the century-old practice of frac'ing oil and gas wells to the Environmental Protection Agency,also  known as the National Apostolic Church of Nature of the United States of America.  Never mind that the EPA has NEVER had oversight of frac practices (much less operating a Federally-funded religious advocacy organization), these having been left to the States with spectacular results, move it, it will, if enacted.  Apparently, according o the hysterical editorial, "Dick Cheney" removed it from the EPA secretly with an evil spell that rendered everyone there unconscious until woken up by the kiss of Handsome Prince Reid.  Or maybe not.  The fairy tales get mixed up.

Oh well.  Let's play the New York Times game and make up a Fairy Tale!  Yay!

Once upon a time, the miserly and evil warlock Dick Cheney decided that Public Schools (those idyllic golden gingerbread retreats, away from parents, where innocent children frolic in a federal and state Eden that needs progressively more funding from equally evil republican bigots that hate gingerbread), should have to rip their hearts out and give them to the children of greedy bad people that want THEIR kids to be "better" than other kids, so that they can be richer and happier by stealing away the happiness and money trees of the other poor children with a mysterious evil smoke made by the evil Wizard Cheney's Corporate flying monkeys at Halliburton Castle.

See? Editorializing for the NYT is Fun AND easy!

Whistling Hubbert-Dixie

So an anonymous source at the IEA (International Energy Agency) claims that the IEA has and is optimistically estimating future oil production.  http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2009-11/whistleblower-says-energy-watchdog-has-downplayed-looming-oil-shortage

Said anonymous whistleblower suspects that the optimistic claims are being made due to "pressure exerted by the US".   Apparently, the hazy US economic strongmen want to prevent another oil price run-up which would, of course, dampen the US and world economy at a shaky time.   Another example of men in black scaring the bureaucrats into cooking the books and denying aliens.

The big mystery to me is why this is even a story?  Oil didn't skyrocket, even if the news chatter did, on this breaking news.  Of course,this story has just the right number of degrees of freedom to drive a big conspiracy theory hurricane... the idea being that big ol' c0nspiracies generate when the problem is really big, and there are either a lot of unknowns or the variables are not broadly known or believed by the "ignernt masses".  This allows you to construct beautifully architected conspiratorial edifices, since you don't have many data points you have to honor.  Of course the more determined the system, ie the more facts you have, the more mundane the conspiracy has to be to fit the facts.

Wahhh! Mart.

I love it when people bitch and whine about Walmart.  Here is a synopsis of a recent conversation.

SHE- "We don't want a Walmart coming into our neighborhood"

ME- "Why Not?"

SHE- "Well, they will cause too much traffic"

ME- "Really?  When that shopping mall they are replacing was first opened, it had HUGE traffic"

SHE- "Well, they will be open all night"

ME- "Like the Denny's next to it?"

SHE- "It attracts a bad crowd"

ME- "Like poor people?"

SHE-  "No no no, I meant..."

ME- "Value conscious late night shoppers?"

SHE- "Well, you know what I mean.  Anyway, they treat their employees badly"

ME- "Well, I wouldn't want to work there.  But who forces them to work there?"

SHE- "Well, no one, but the economy is bad and people have a hard time, you know?"

ME- "Well, they could save a bunch shopping at Walmart, couldn't they?"

SHE- "And the treat their vendors badly"

ME- "Who tell the vendors they have to sell to Walmart?  I thought that was a voluntary kind of thing.  Like working there."

SHE- "Yes, but.  They put Mom and Pops out of business!"

ME-  "How do they do that?"

SHE- "They are so big that they get pricing power so they get stuff cheaper than Mom and Pop and sell it at smaller margins due to their wide inventory"

ME- "You mean from those vendors they treat so badly?"

SHE- "Well, yes"

ME- "So Mom and Pop go out of business because Walmart sells stuff more cheaply?"

SHE- "Exactly"

ME- "Why don't Mom and Pop's friends and neighbors buy from Mom and Pop INSTEAD of Walmart?"

SHE- "Because WalMart is CHEAPER!"

ME- "So Mom and Pop's Friends and Neighbors put Mom and Pop out of business?"

SHE- "Who the hell are you and who invited you to this party?"

ME- "I heard a statistic somewhere where Walmart saves a family of four several thousands of dollars a year on essentials.  That seems more powerful and beneficial that any government program for the average working American".

SHE- "Get away from me you fascist bastard!"

What the World Needs Now...

Is Paul McCartney and Burt Bacharach to get together before one of them dies to write the Perfect Pop Song.  Not just for me, but for everyone.

PART 3. Writing Hit Songs.

OK, so now that I have made the predicate argument that the era of big acts is at its twilight, unless you want to go Disney and be a cog in the Mouse-ine, you do have the opportunity to be a regional or demographic act in this new non-homogenized and thoroughly democratic world of music and audience and delivery.

So, how to write the hit song?  Forget love as the major theme.  Everyone does that, and your take isn't that special, unless you are a certifiable homicidal maniac.  Then it could be mainstream rap or some twisted ClownPorn genre.  Not great for longevity of the music.  No one is proud of their days stoned on the couch listening to Insane Clown Posse and long for the day when.  

To paraphrase "The Graduate"... I have two terms for you... Places, and other prior generation Big Artists.

Place songs live forever.  Especially in the Country ouvre.  I will extend my place theme to include major sports franchises.  If you write songs about major sports franchises, though, make sure it is a fun riff repeatedly many times.  Place songs can handle all your needs for story songs.  Hell, you can even talk about love here, as long as it has a place.  "El Paso" by Marty Robbins, "Amarillo by Morning" by George Strait, "LA Freeways" by Guy Clark, "Ventura Highway" by America, "Do You Know the Way To San Jose" by WTFK, and "Wichita Lineman" and "Galveston" by Glenn Campbell are just some of the plethora that come to mind.  The theme sticks deep in the head of anyone who lives there or even likes it there.

The second theme... Prior Big Artists.... is a SURE WINNER.  Why?  Because music has that previously discussed magical ability to transport you to a place and time in your past.  Your own little time machine to the happy times.  Why not coat-tail on that attribute?  Love Neil Young?  Write a song about listening to Cortez the Killer or Southern Man.  The BeeGees?  Write a song that reminisces about the summer of '77 and Night Fever. These always work.  The grossest knockoff is the resampled rap versions of songs.  Easy Peasy Lemon Wheezy.  Not worth your musical chops.  Try "Sweet Home Alabama" written in angry response to Young's "Southern Man".  It coattailed Southern Man into a song played maybe a million times more than the relatively forgetten Young dirge.  Or the David Allan Coe song celebrating Outlaw Country with the line "I heard the Burritos out in California could fly, higher than the Byrds", and ends the lyric with "Willie, Waylon, and Me", much to the rumored undelight of Willie and Waylon.  Of course, Marty Robbins did a twofer here with "El Paso City", where he referred to a location again AND referred to his previous hit song!  Bravo, Marty.  

Feel artistically compromised by these pointers?  Why?  I didn't tell you how to write the songs at all, I just gave thematic advice.  If you are a true artist and don't care about appealing to others, goodonya mate.  Garages were built for that.  If you hate sell outs, meaning "wow, a lot of people are moved by my songs to the point of parting with cash to see it live or buy it", well, you are just an unsuccessful sell out at this point, not a real artist, who couldn't care less.

Go forward and prosper, young Rock Star.  Remember, in the future, you won't have plethoras of groupies in very town, just some towns, or a peculiar small subset in every town.  Choose carefully.  Your career should be something you look back on with happiness, not something that will take years of therapy to undo one night of groupie action with cross dressing suicidal vampires that have Daddy issues.

Government Involvement A Double Edged Sword...

A close friend of mine works for Big AltEnergy.  In fact, for one of the companies that have received bookoo diaper loads in loans from the DOE.  Guess what?  Their non-government borrowing interest rates have sky-rocketed due to the insecurity "secured" creditors feel being in an investment that Bog Brotha has an interest.  This insecurity translates into a real cost.  Hundreds of basis points.

Plus, their planned fab facility?  Now 1.5 their original estimate due to demands that they use Union labor everywhere.

How bad was THIS decision?