The US Government released a statement today stating that test pilot Stephen Austin, who was critically injured in a near space aircraft crash, was being considered for bionic reconstruction.
"We can rebuild him. Make him faster, stronger... better!" said Oscar Goldman, a representative of a yet unnamed government agency lobbying congress for the funds. "Unfortunately, with the cost of healthcare today, it will be some $26 billion dollars... more than the entire budget for our off the books agency, even if we take out our satellite program".
Canada, trumpeting it's low cost healthcare system, had Douglas J. McKenzie spokesman for the Royal Canadian Secret Spy and Projects Ministry tell the press that "We can get this done for $6 million loonies... which today are worth nearly as much as dollars. Unfortunately, it will take 137 years".
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