I was enjoying a frosty mug of Hamm's with my ol' friend Berle Piggle (D), County Commisioner of PEcos County, who you might recall from a post I made a couple of years ago...
http://openchoke.blogs.com/open_choke/2006/08/dems_investigat.html
"You shore made me famous back then, (Open Choke). A course, you made me look kinda like a fool, too. But times change, don't they?" he chuckled.
"That they do, Berle. You know me, I am kinda anti-politicians and parties anyway, but you democrats have made it progressively harder to support you. Is that why they call you all "progressive"? Because you make it progressively harder to be free to practice your trade without someone second guessing you or suing you?"
"Heh, Heh. Jes' you wait, (Choke), soon. the little guy is gonna get theirs. Obama is our man, and Pelosi and her gals is our gals. Gonna be a whole new way of doing things. People gonna drill clean wells and they gonna give all that money to the underprivileged. We even talkin' about creating a nashnul oil company to drill federal leases, so we can keep all the money to the people, an' lower the cost of gasoline". He smiled graciously, his li'l porcine eyes tinkling merrily from above the mug he had raised to his face...
"Well, Berle, you might NEED a national oil company, because I ain't gonna risk my money to drill wells to give to you just like that. How is that any different than theft?"
"'Cause we voted it! It ain't theft because it is the willa the people! Don't you know 'merican history, son?" Piggle chortled.
"How you gonna make me drill US oil wells? How is this going to make the US more energy secure?"
"You don't drill, the nashnul oil company will drill it. We got plenty a PhDs needin' jobs outside the private sector... good, secure jobs. They gonna find us a *****load of oil. All that stuff you guys intentionally plugged so as to get away from payin' royalties. I hear what the landowners say. You guys plug them wells to get away from paying them." Berle was beginning to get excited. A foam moustache quivered above his thick lips. His Bull Rider beltbuckle, about as big around as a hubcap was jumping up and down in time with his breaths.
"Why would I spend millions of dollars leasing and drilling JUST to plug a well to avoid paying a royalty? What kind of sense does that make?"
"C'mon, (Choke), I ain't stupid. I saw that movie 'bout your Enron buddies, The Smartest Guys In the Room. You all do that Merk to Meerkat accountn' and such. You book it as if you made the money up front, then plug it. Pretty clever, but we gotcher number, now. Fool us oncet, they say."
"But how do I pay my employees and my expenses without cash, Berle?"
"Takin' me for a real fool, now, are we? You sell them 100 year bonds. Make yourself millions and screw the consumer and the shareholders. We ain't standing for it any longer, and Pecos God-Damn County is gonna be on the forefront of this. We takin' it all back for the people. We gonna take care of them... from day they born to the day they die. It's gonna be a reglar utopia. Especially just south of Fort Stockton. We got plans. Cain't wait to get my hands on Claytie's ranch. It's gonna be raining REAL hard on him that day. No one is gonna laugh at Berle Piggle anymore."
"Berle, I'm not laughing now! I admit I chuckled a bit a couple of years ago, but today, I am not even smilin'."
"Yeah. Gotta lotta comments on yore column. Lotta donations from George Soros. You don't wanna cross that fella... George Sore-ass his nickname, bit not to his face, you understand."
"It is interesting, hundreds of people googled you back then, thinking, I guess, that you really exist!"
"You can fool some of them people alla the time!" Berle laughed as be polished off the last of the cool, delicious Hamms.
Well, last I heard Comrade Cheetah, Al Abqaiq, and Louis Mao are just as eager to pay rate for a Texas made, Texan owned diesel electric top drive triple stack. All the synergy, technology, and expertise that come bundled with it. Say howdy to the post-American world.
I DARE them..
Posted by: pookie | July 13, 2008 at 12:43 PM
Or, as an alternative to a national oil company, we can have the Republican led regulators look the other way, like the sub-prime thing, and borrow drilling money like the good old Penn Square days....Then the fed can bail out the banks stockholders and end up running the oil business the via the "neo-con shuffle". This kind of thing seems to be happening more and more. Nobody talks about the Trillion dollars taken out of our national treasury during the last two weeks of March, and given to Wall Street, without any Congressional oversight. There is more to come. This conservative Republican reality makes Berle’s ideas look tame. Lots of liberal fear out there, but the conservative Republicans are the ones printing money and giving it to the special interests. And they are printing more for the Fannie/Freddie thing that is about to blow up. All done under the watchful eye of a so-called Conservative administration.
Posted by: Scott | July 13, 2008 at 06:03 PM
I didn't know that they still brewed Hamm's, if so, it is probably brewed by Miller in Fort Worth. I guess St. Arnold Summer Pils is not available in Pecos County. A friend brought me a bottle from Austin, though I haven't tried it yet - he raved about it.
Admittedly, the present administration has strayed quite a distance from Conservative free-market principles, but I see nothing positive in the Obama & Co. mindset.
When aspects of the free-market system do fail, we need to look for evidence of government interference in that particular market and how that interference, coupled with normal human screw-ups brought us to this particular situation.
Part of the housing/credit crunch is because the government told lenders to lend to certain credit-unworthy folks, in the name of "fairness"; part of it is because the lenders suspected that government would bail them out; and part of it is because the MSM have been talking down the economy for several years to hurt the Bush Administration.
[As I haven't yet had my coffee, I will abstain from further comments.]
Posted by: on-the-rocks | July 14, 2008 at 07:29 AM
Scott, so you agree with me that we shouldn't do anything about sub-prime loans? Let banks fail if they need and let strong banks buy them at pennies on the dollar. Prosecute those that defrauded people and don't bail out stupid people.
On The Rocks, don't you miss Hamm's? The Black and White bears drinking beer? Bear Beer.. I heard they were mean drunks. Tore up a campground, killed some folks. Hamm's had to dump them, and that was the end of the brand. Berle keeps about 100 cases he stowed away in cold storage for special occassions. His regular beer is Pabst Blue Ribbon. I had a frosty can of Pabst a couple of years ago in a dive bar 60 miles from Minot of North Dakota. Pabst is clearly the choice of folks that like to chase down flavored vodka shots in -20 degree weather.
Posted by: open choke | July 14, 2008 at 07:36 AM
Although I don't disgree with your take on republicans as a whole either. What a useless group of folks in general. Have you seen the "get drunk and vote for MCCain" website? It is apparently the most popular McCain destination. Arnie and McCain will straighten everything out for sure. Fast tracking to the Borg.
Posted by: open choke | July 14, 2008 at 07:39 AM
Yes, I agree. Let the banks fail, just pleeeeease give me one more Penn Square!!!!
Posted by: Scott | July 14, 2008 at 09:18 AM
It seems ironic to me that the right continues the state of denial regarding the failings of its domestic and foreign policies. Why do we project fear that the left will damage our nation in the future by making government the ultimate provider? Just pick up the newspaper and see what “conservative” policy is doing this very moment. We are in the midst of sweeping changes regarding domestic economic policy, wherein the government is THE provider.
In order to accomplish this, we are taking on debt larger than Berle ever dreamed of. Trillions. Unprecedented expansion of government. This is all engineered by an administration that labels itself “Conservative”. The American taxpayer has been ripped off like never before, and thieves are draped in the flag and carrying a Bible.
Posted by: Scott | July 14, 2008 at 02:53 PM
I really miss those 16 oz. glasses of Pearl Draft we used to get at the Pine Knot, Jr.. And the three keg parties I had in El Paso were all fueled by Pearl Beer.
"There's a little bit of Texas in every drop of Pearl".
Yeah, getting bears drunk is not a good idea.
BTW, Shiner Black is pretty good for its style, a Bohemian black lager.
Posted by: on-the-rocks | July 16, 2008 at 07:34 PM