Book Burnings, Mosques, Hatred, and Other Fables...

I like the Drudge Report. A days worth of browsing condensed into a 20 seconds. One headline linked to a "right wing entertainment network". Kelsey Grammar is the face in front. I don't know what "right wing entertainment" is. Rocky? Rambo? John Wayne Movies? Anything rejected from Lifetime Channel? I dunno.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wirestory?id=11583388&page=2

My favorite quote in the ABC news article about this channel came from an Ithica College journalism professor and "liberal activist". "Comedy requires irony. It can't be frothing with hate or fear. Drama requires complexity. It can't all be black or white".

Apparently, he means to infer that if you are a right winger, then you must be frothing with hate and fear and see the world in black and white. Right? I am glad I don't live in that paradigm, where I neatly categorize folks into bigots and idiots based on their political beliefs. My life is much richer by having friends that I can argue with that righteously (or lefteously) believe in things that I don't necessarily hold to be self-evident.

Oh well.

On a more entertaining note, the debate over the Mosque at Ground Zero and the Florida Evangelical Church wanting to burn a copy of the Koran has a lot more life to it than I would have thought.

I find it insensitive to build a Mosque at ground zero. I wouldn't do it. Likewise, I find it insensitive to burn a Koran. I wouldn't do it. I think here, in the US, everyone is within their rights to be insensitive assholes. That seems to be the point of the lessons. Point made. Thus sayeth the Lord.

A few fun facts about the Koran. It is comprised of tracts given to Mohammed straight from God. It is ordered non-chronologically, but rather from generally longer tracts to shorter tracts known as "suras". It was ordered to be compiled from an oral tradition after the death of Mohammed by Caliph Abu Bakir. Umar, the second Caliph and Uthmar, the third, carried on the archiving until Uthmar saw that several dialectics were being presented in various versions. He compared the various versions to the one that was held by Hafsa, Mohammed's widow and Umar's daughter. He transcribed it and burned all other copies in a sort of Nicene Convention without the pesky committees. It is considered perfect by Moslems. When it contradicts itself, as perfect literature is wont to do, the later tract is considered to be the last word. In other words, the shorter tract wins out. Salman Rushdie's book "The Satanic Verses", the one that got him a death sentence, and got several of his publishers or translators attacked or killed, concerns a tract where Mohammed, in an effort to appease his wife's tribe, allows prayers to Allah to be passed via three pagan Goddesses as intercessionaries before realizing that by doing so, he had undermined his perfect religion, and then stated that THAT particular conversation was not with God, but Satan who tricked him into thinking he was God.

In any case, it is considered to be extrinsically comprehensible only in Arabic, and to contain up to seven layers of sublime interpretation, called Ta'wil, which may help us understand why so much controversy exists over what, exactly, the Koran says. The Sunni tradition says that only God understands what is truly revealed within, whereas the Shia tradition says that Imams can be trained enough and of clean enough soul to glean the meaning and to recite it to others. However, this is problematic because many Imams are not on the same page, so to speak, so this might suggest a win for Sunniism.

Most of the suras begin with the Basmala, which alludes to a kind and most merciful God, but the ninth does not. The 9th sura is a dark and stormy story that isn't at all kind or merciful to those that don't acknowledge Mohammed and Allah as their brand of liturgical sustenance. It is this sura that drives much of the more aggressive posturing in the name of the book.

Given that I am not an Arab speaker, much is lost to me anyhow. I wonder what version the Branch Floridians intend to burn? If it is only really the word of God in its original Arabic, does burning an english language version comprise only a pesky impertinence rather than a truly egregious and blasphemous mocking of God's Voice? Burning the Cliff's Notes version of Garp isn't exactly like burning Garp, is it? I'll leave that question to the Imams, but only those fluent in Arabic AND English, since they would be the only ones in the position to judge.

In any case, my favorite solution to the whole mess is to build a gay bar next to the newly planned Mosque. Who could possibly complain at this point?

Comments

[Robert Gaston]

Choke, that was a good read!
Remember the old "Pigstand" restaurant
on the Drag, in Austin?
Maybe a good place for one right next to the Mosque in "Big Puppy Town!
Robert Gaston

[potted meat]

HL, I haven't forgot about ya over here.
I had a bad month.

Like the house Garp bought.... I am predisastered.

pm

you have my e mail from here. please email me where we can discuss another matter privately. Oil bidness question.

[treehugger]

Interesting. The Koran as translated to the language of Satan, is well, Satanic, and therefore there's a combustion loophole. But then that complicates the Bible being translated from the original Hebrew or whatever. They're all a bunch of nuts if you ask me but no one did.

[Tom Myit]

Definitely impressed by these views on Islam, really did not think it would be within the realm of..eh..Openchoke...hats off...too bad guys like Ib Sina (aka Avicenna) are not around to educate the fundamentalists on the wonders of science...fundamentalists from all religions usually fear science..hmmm wonder why? an inferiority complex?...
Islamic Scholar Ibn Sina (aka Avicenna, 981–1037) proposed detailed explanations for the formation of mountains, the origin of earthquakes, and other topics central to modern Geology, which provided an essential foundation for the later development of the science. Religion (not Science) is used for political gain: Iraq (Sunnis vs Chiites)....Northern Ireland (Catholics vs Protestants)...Algeria (Moderate French Speaking Muslims vs Fundamentalist Arab Speakers/ even though only 10% of their population are literate in Arabic)...guess Martians must really have a poor opinion of Humans..
On the Mosque issue, does one want to encourage conflict? To be fair, we are only concerned with what goes on in our homes, or see what the Joneses are up to no more...

As the Middle East/Arab Gulf are my main stamping grounds, let me offer some insight into those folks...over a year ago when I introduced Nick Robinson (DI Int'l) to my Saudi Aramco friends,

Nick fired away on the importance of a global database...but the Saudi Aramco boys yawned and looked bored (as they were also suffering their annual Ramadan or month of fasting)...and suddenly they were all ears when Nick mentioned that DI had a comprehensive database of the US oil patch....and guess what these Islamic E&P boys were after? They wanted to know how they could get hold of data to compare similar plays between the GOM and the Arabian Peninsula...hmm...all to Nick's dismay...

Bottomline is that my Saudi friends are sharp professionals and the religious divide did not bother them at all...they were as alert as we were even when they had not had anything to eat or drink since Sunrise and were going to fill up at Sunset...AMEN (which by the way is the exact similar word in Arabic)....

[Hondo Lane]

Holy War...two assholes arguing over whose imaginary friend is better.

[Bill Wilson]

Or the ultamate insult putting a pork BBQ outlet up wind from the site.

[potted meat]

I have never quite figured out how God was involved in menu selection, or wardrobe and grooming preference.

While I am a man of Faith, I suspect that some of these 'laws' may have been written with commerce in mind.

After all, As a Catholic, we had that 'fish Friday' thing going , and the apostles were ......fishermen.

Somehow I just don't think God would let good people do time in hell on a meat rap.

[Slappy]

Here are the top 30 names for the gay bar next to the mosque.

30 Honor Drillings
29. Jihard
28. Filthy Omar’s Rusty Trombone
27. The Arabian Queen
26. Dune Biters
25. Goat's Night Off
24. The Pink Prophet
23. The Leather Burqa
22. Git Mo
21. Pig in a Poke
20. Sheiks & Freaks
19. Sodom and Gonorrhea
18. Osama Bin Dover
17. The Exploding Goat
16. Weapons of Ass Destruction
15. Alla Assbar
14. Anderson Cooper's Apartment
13. The Sticky Prophet
12. The Sphinxter
11. Grind Zero
10. Nuclear Fuel Rods
9. Hassan's TestostoRoom
8. Turbuns
7. Bunker Busters
6. The Tali-bone
5. Al-Jizzera
4. The Gaza Stripper
3. The Sandy Gerbil
2. The Camel’s Hump
1. Hide the Minaret

[Steve M]

The gay bar idea is brilliant. I can't bring myself to vote for any of the 30 gay bar names in the list, they're all worthy. Good job.

Also, Taco Bell should consider getting a copyright on the phrase "seven layers of sublime interpretation". That's pure gold.