Open Choke

Why Male Movie Stars Make Mo' Money...

My wife and I went to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, and Rachel McAdams.  The movie is designed for the franchise.

This means that Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law can hold the franchise hostage in their "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" style remake.  Rachel McAdams?  Like all Franchise Romantic Leads, they are imminently expendable.  Robert Downey, Jr. now holds the Ironman franchise and perhaps a new Sherlock Holmes franchise in his hands.  He could be the biggest grossing star in the history of movies if he plays this right.  Two big franchises, and he is the lead in both.  Beautiful.  Apparently his reasoning capacity was hardly diminished by his background of pharmaceutical excess.  Good on him.

Not many chick movies lend themselves to these formulas.  Thelma and Louise killed themselves in their buddy flick.  The only one I can think of is Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft, Tomb Raider series, but this is focused on kids, and the only adult-focused series... Charlie's Angels.  But these don't appear to be the big sellers.  Until they are, men will rule Hollywood, I guess.

There Will Be Bashing...

son of a BITCH.  How do we independent oilmen and women ever catch a break?  The L.A. Film Critics awarded their Best Movie and Best Actor to "There Will Be Blood" starring Daniel Day Lewis as Daniel Plainview, an... Independent Oilman.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469494/trailers-screenplay-E34611-314

In the Variety review, it reads that "Day-Lewis' Daniel Plainview (read "Independent Oilman") is a profoundly anti-social fellow, malevolently so, and "There Will Be Blood" devotes itself to scratching, peeling and digging away at a man determined to divest himself of his past and everyone associated with it".  Great.  It goes on.

"Tipped off about the abundance of oil in a rural area, and about Standard Oil's activities thereabouts, Daniel visits the farm of the pious Sunday family on false pretenses (ahh, he's a landman, maybe?), obtains drilling rights at a bargain rate (yep.  Called that right) and immediately constructs the derricks on the property that will make his fortune."  Hmm. 

If they are gonna bash an oilman, at least they bash a Landman.  An engineer or geologist wouldn't do such a thing, would they?

http://www.variety.com/VE1117935281.html

In Choke world, this would be Hate Speech, IF I believed in such a thing.  There will be oilman bashing. I think we should all go see this movie, and laugh loudly at the scoundrel parts.  There will be inapproriate laughter.  Maybe a mwha hah hah kinda laugh.  I am still breathlessly awaiting the movie about the corrupt environmentalists, the evil film director, and the pedophile screenwriter.  There will be a long wait.

Best Living Actor...

of our generation has to be Patrick Swayze.  His roles in Dirty Dancing and Ghost indelibly linked himself to the female psyche of our generation, while he won over the males with the acting/karate chops to pull off Road House, Point Break, and my personal favorite, Red Dawn. If that was ALL he had done, he would be in the "count on one hand" best thespians of our generation. 

However, this versatile performer did more.  Much more.  He single handedly popularized the mullet hairstyle, which, although perhaps regrettable, did establish "The Swayz" as a trendmaker. He made homosexual hearts flutter with his courageous role in To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, not to mention an early turn in as a 50's gang member in The Outsiders. 

Eventually, one has to acknowledge that there seems nothing this versatile actor cannot do.  Martial arts, monster trucks, fist fighting, parachuting, surfing, bank robbing, loving the ladies, dancing, and drag dressing... who better to define and represent our generation? Certainly not Sean Penn who has played, lets see, whiny bitch, whiny bitch, loathsome bitch, misunderstood bitch, and whiny bitch.  OK, Jeff Spicoli was a star turn and really upped him in my mind, and he does direct, but we are talking actors here.

Clearly, "the Swayz" does not get the recognition or respect he so richly deserves.  I say The Academy is long overdue in awarding this fine thespian its Lifetime Achievment Award, especially since he has been clearly snubbed for his particular roles.  His body of work stands as a towering achievment that no other actor, American or otherwise, comes close to recreating.  Brando?  Superman's dad?  Give me a break.  Bogart?  Where is his defining Drag moment?  Newman or Redford?  Show me where either one of those nancy boys ripped out an adams apple in a bar fight.

Let the Academy know... Swayze For Lifetime Achievment Award!